more and more i am convinced God knows what im feeling
what im going through
this period of inner turbulent turmoil ive been experiencing
all the guilt all the sh*t i feel.
for being so MEAN.

i feel guilty for not being a good Christ embassador.
i shout at my grandmother out of impatience and out of ultimate frustration.
and as much as ive tried to bottle up and contain this negative lashings at my granny
each time i feel so miserable
i feel like im gonna break and fall.
i never believed in trying too or rather, so hard to be nice.
but i feel that i have a task, a responsibility.
i wanna shape myself the way He wants me to be, really
and all these are just the process, the journey of getting there..

i feel really horrid for shouting at my granny.
but i really found consolation through the words of the Bible.
one way He connects with me is through the words i read, as so i believe.
really.

I shouldnt let my enemy steal my joy.
in times when i have fallen, i must stand up against Satan
and beat him and slash him saying i know what he's been doing
trying to make me consumed by my own malicious fire of guilt.
but hey, you nasty being who tries to tempt all of God's children
you are NOT going to get your way because God is way above you
you can try to be like God and you can wait and wait and wait
because God's army is more powerful than yours!
We belong to His Holy Army!
*jumps*

never let the enemy steal your joy!!!!!!

"Temptation is a sign that Satan hates you, not a sign of weakness or worldliness. It is also a normal part of being human and living in a fallen world. Don't be surprised or shocked or discouraged by it. Be realistic about the inevitability of temptation, you will never be able to avoid it completely."

honest reflections. *
8:08 AM