after reading this chapter...oh man
i realised there's so many things i havent done.
reflecting seriously. i mean keeping this blog is one thing
but i think my reflections are lacking seriousness :(
im so sorry.
and im really worried abt tmr.
qing ming jie.
by tradition and culture and whatnots,
i have to pay respects to my mom.
i felt like wow, this chapter spoke right thru and pierced my thoughts...
my aunt would be really angry i think, if i told her im not gonna touch the joss sticks.
not that ive read the any biblical verses against that or whatever.
but still. im not really sure, but i think we arent supposed to do tat?

"Many of our troubles occur because we base our choices on unreliable authorities: culture, tradition, reason, or emotion."
i really dont know if i should give in to culture&tradition to appease my aunt, show her outwardly that i still respect my mom and that she's in my heart. OR,
dont do it and incur the wrath of my aunty and make her less approving of my faith.
sigh....dont know what to do.
God, give me direction can ?
i know ultimately, you'll look at my heart.
u know i respect my mom, and am thankful You brought me to her, and her to me, deep inside.
im thankful about how she mould me into who i am today
taking care of me on Your behalf (physically) for 9 years.
and even if i do touch the jossticks, im really really doing it because i dont want my aunty to feel that You are teaching me the wrong things...cos You are not, definitely.
i hope You'll understand, and You will right? :)
i hold the jossticks not because i worship anyone, not because i wanna fall prey to the devil
but really, it's an outward traditional gesture...
when time passes by, and i can convince my aunt peacefully that i shouldnt.
i will stop it.
and i really really sincerely sincerely pray
that this innocent gesture will not hinder You filling me with the Holy Spirit tomorrow....
really.

Love Ya Lord.

honest reflections. *
9:25 PM